Posted by: selenafulton | April 28, 2013

An Early Mother’s Day Post

Not Mother’s Day yet you say? Read along and find out why I’m ahead of schedule.

I have been blogging since some time in 2011. When I began this blog, I had no idea what I wanted to say, what I wanted to share online with strangers.

2011 was also the year my mother began her fight against colon cancer. I watched the bravest woman I know, fight the unknown in her usual style – with fierce determination and humor. So much of my blog posts became about her journey.

But on 1/7/12, Mom lost that battle. So, since last year was the first Mother’s Day without her, I’d planned to blog a tribute to her, but the time got away from me. Perhaps I put Mother’s Day in the back of my mind, unable to think about my loss. Unable to write the words I wanted to write.

Whatever the reason, I missed the boat that year. I missed her too.

That morning, I went to church, barely able to contain the tears as mothers and daughters and granddaughters gathered together. I held up pretty well until I saw another friend of mine had lost her mother only a few months before mine.

No words were spoken. Or needed. We merely looked at each other, tears filled our eyes and we hugged each other, understanding each other’s pain and sorrow.

This year, as the Mother’s Day gifts began filling the stores, tears still blurred my vision. I’m a grown woman, with a grown up daughter. Yet, I still miss my mom so much it hurts. I’m told the feeling of loss, the sadness, the pain never really goes away, that the years only take off the edge of the longing we feel when we miss someone we love.

So as Mother’s Day approaches, if you still have your mom with you, go see her, or call her, or give her a card to let you know you’re thinking of her. Whatever would mean the most to her. If for some reason there is a rift between you, try to mend it. Because there will be a day when you won’t be able to call her up and say, “guess what?” You won’t be able to ask her for advice, for the recipe to your favorite cake that she makes from memory, or just stop by and see the smile on her face when you come through the door.

Enjoy your mom on this upcoming holiday.

I love you, Mom. Happy Mother’s Day.

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Responses

  1. This is my first Mother’s Day without Mom. I can’t even describe how I feel about that, but I think you already know.

    Hugs to you, Selena. And Happy Mother’s Day to your mom and mine. ❤

    • I do know how you feel. Hugs and you know how to reach me if you need to talk.

  2. Beth, I pray God will comfort you as the days go by. My mom died in 1995 so I can testify to the fact, it gets easier.


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